Fat Dogs and French Estates - Beyond the Forest Fringe by Haslam Beth

Author:Haslam, Beth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ant Press
Published: 2026-01-21T00:00:00+00:00

It was almost two years after we had completed the major renovations on the main house when a catastrophic storm swept through south-west France. Winds gusting over 200 kmph (125 mph) swept across Aquitaine, battering the coastline before changing direction inland. We bore the brunt of the storm.

Mercifully, and somewhat ironically, our buildings were saved by the medieval courtyard shell, which protected our house from full exposure to the storm’s fury. Our forest had no such protection, and we lost thousands of trees. It was a devastating disaster for us, which led us to seek state aid from the forestry commission and, for my part, to learn how to use a chainsaw. That gave Jack the opportunity to equip us appropriately.

As always, close to phobic about anything to do with shopping, Jack makes an exception with hardware stores. In this case, the chance to buy equipment that would enable us to help Nathan and the team of forestry commission woodsmen with the clearance work was like giving a little boy a great big Christmas present. Jack was in his element.

We arrived at Jack’s favourite ‘quad bike’ DIY store. On a previous shopping excursion, he had bought us team machetes; today was all about chainsaws. I headed off to the plant section for a browse while he checked their range. It didn’t take me long before I was lost in a leafy oasis of bee-friendly bushes, a couple of which I decided were must-haves. I was about to ask advice from the hovering assistant when Jack trundled up, pushing an industrial-sized trolley.

The assistant took a long look at Jack’s pile of chainsaws, topped off with a hatchet, then glanced at his anguished expression. Evidently deciding I was married to a serial killer, she grabbed a plant, mumbling something about taking it to another customer, and disappeared.

“You’re not thinking about buying yet more flowers, are you?”

“Nooo.”

“Ah, good. I need space for my chainsaws.”

Jack produced one with the chain length of a lollipop stick and thrust it into my hands.

“Do you think you could manage this?” he asked.

“Yep, pretty sure I can, but aside from cutting twigs, I’m not sure what practical use it has. I already have loppers, which would probably do the same job.”

Jack paused to consider this tester and dug a different one out from his pile. “Okay, try this one – it’s a bit bigger. I’m just concerned that you might not be able to cope with it.”

This one was marginally longer than a ruler, but could probably saw through skinny branches quicker than I could wield my machete.

“That’s grand, thank you very much. And what have you chosen for yourself?”

Jack, glowing with pride, returned to his trolley and hauled out a chainsaw with a chain longer than an average length diving board.

“I’ll need this for the bigger jobs,” he said, knees gently sagging under its weight.

He wasn’t finished.

“Now that’s sorted out, we need the clothes section.”

“Really?” I asked, astonished at Jack having an interest in clothes.

“Yes, we need to buy safety trousers.

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